one step back. siiiigh. The past 2 days have been NOT GOOD. I ate an obscene amount of peanut butter (with a spoon, straight outta the jar) yesterday, and tons of cheese, fruit, nuts, and food that I didn't need. Now I feel really fat and gross and frustrated. I should have taken a step back, read my cards, had a mug of tea, and gone for a walk. But I didn't.
The triathlon I'm doing is only 5 weeks away, so I really need to get serious. Plus, I'm just sick of feeling bad about myself. It's a million degrees out, and I'm still wearing pants and long sleeves. It's ridiculous.
The next two weeks I'm going to go back to phase 1 of the SBD (so no fruit, starchy carbs, etc.), and lay off the booze. Enough is enough!
Day 40 is Enrich Your Life. It says to not wait until you lose weight to do the things you want to do. (That probably includes wearing shorts, eh?) Hopefully when these 2 weeks are up I'll feel ready to do that!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Day 39
Wow, getting close to the end of the book! I plan to keep blogging when it's done though, until I reach my goal weight. (Which, at this rate, will be in about 6 months :S)
Despite the fact that things are moving along sloooowly, it's been going pretty well overall. I still struggle a lot with wanting to eat when I'm not hungry...especially when I'm kind of stressed. But I haven't totally binged on junk food in ages, which is huge progress. That was the thing that really frustrated me the most.
Tonight I cooked up a big spaghetti squash, and then mixed in with garlic, red pepper flakes, shallots and olive oil...YUM. Can't wait to eat it for lunch tomorrow. I also bought some okra yesterday, which I have never eaten before...I'll have to figure out what to do with it!
Day 39 is Keep Up With Exercise. I am happy to say that this is one thing I do not struggle with! Once I get into a workout routine, I hate hate hate missing a workout. Even at 6am, I would way rather go to the gym than sleep in and miss it! My workouts have been going pretty well recently too...nothing crazy, but good steady progress.
good night!
Despite the fact that things are moving along sloooowly, it's been going pretty well overall. I still struggle a lot with wanting to eat when I'm not hungry...especially when I'm kind of stressed. But I haven't totally binged on junk food in ages, which is huge progress. That was the thing that really frustrated me the most.
Tonight I cooked up a big spaghetti squash, and then mixed in with garlic, red pepper flakes, shallots and olive oil...YUM. Can't wait to eat it for lunch tomorrow. I also bought some okra yesterday, which I have never eaten before...I'll have to figure out what to do with it!
Day 39 is Keep Up With Exercise. I am happy to say that this is one thing I do not struggle with! Once I get into a workout routine, I hate hate hate missing a workout. Even at 6am, I would way rather go to the gym than sleep in and miss it! My workouts have been going pretty well recently too...nothing crazy, but good steady progress.
good night!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Day 38
Remember how I was whining last week about how I ate waaaay to much fruit at "snack time" at work last week? This week I had one small bowl of fruit, and then I was was still hungry, so I filled up on veggies. I didn't even CONSIDER eating the desserts and hot wings and other such foods they had there. And I feel so much happier for it. GO ME!
The scale was up a bit today, but whatever. I can feel my muscles starting to come back, and I'm really excited about that. And I'm just about to do a bike (stationary) workout and watch some tv now...all in all, things are looking up!
Day 38 is Dealing With Plateaus. I'm hoping that since I am losing weight so freaking slowly to begin with I won't reach a plateau any time soon. (Will I even know if it's a plateau?!) But if I do, I'm ready!
The scale was up a bit today, but whatever. I can feel my muscles starting to come back, and I'm really excited about that. And I'm just about to do a bike (stationary) workout and watch some tv now...all in all, things are looking up!
Day 38 is Dealing With Plateaus. I'm hoping that since I am losing weight so freaking slowly to begin with I won't reach a plateau any time soon. (Will I even know if it's a plateau?!) But if I do, I'm ready!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Day 37
145.8 today! I am SO HAPPY! I feel motivated all over again :)
I've been doing really well with food...at night I roast/chop/prepare in some way veggies to eat at work the next day. As we speak I'm roasting brussel sprouts and kabocha squash. I'll sprinkle the kabocha with saigon cinnamon & sweet n' low, and it is delicious cold the next day. Like dessert, practically.
Yesterday I did a really good swim workout, and I planned on biking tonight, but I'm going to go back to work instead :S I have a bunch of stuff to finish up, and I want to do a good job of it, since I'm still new and all. I did do some strength training this morning, so at least I got that in.
Day 37 is Reduce Stress. I was feeling a LOT of stress at work yesterday...I was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff the expect me to know, and how fast they expect me to do it! But I figure I will just do the best I can (and I talked to my boss about extending the deadline a bit), and if it doesn't work out, then oh well...at least this is just a contract position anyway :)
Anyway, Judith has a bunch of suggestions about reducing stress. I don't think I'm a stress-y person in general (definitely not one of those perfectionist types), and really, my life is not that stressful to begin with. But I will give them a try...especially the relaxation part.
I've been doing really well with food...at night I roast/chop/prepare in some way veggies to eat at work the next day. As we speak I'm roasting brussel sprouts and kabocha squash. I'll sprinkle the kabocha with saigon cinnamon & sweet n' low, and it is delicious cold the next day. Like dessert, practically.
Yesterday I did a really good swim workout, and I planned on biking tonight, but I'm going to go back to work instead :S I have a bunch of stuff to finish up, and I want to do a good job of it, since I'm still new and all. I did do some strength training this morning, so at least I got that in.
Day 37 is Reduce Stress. I was feeling a LOT of stress at work yesterday...I was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff the expect me to know, and how fast they expect me to do it! But I figure I will just do the best I can (and I talked to my boss about extending the deadline a bit), and if it doesn't work out, then oh well...at least this is just a contract position anyway :)
Anyway, Judith has a bunch of suggestions about reducing stress. I don't think I'm a stress-y person in general (definitely not one of those perfectionist types), and really, my life is not that stressful to begin with. But I will give them a try...especially the relaxation part.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Day 36
So, tomorrow is weigh-in day...kinda nervous. I doubt I'll be down from last week, but oh well.
I've been doing really well with exercise, now that I have a bit more time on my hands. I've been eating pretty well too. So hopefully it'll all come together!
Day 36 is 'Believe It'. And I do!
I've been doing really well with exercise, now that I have a bit more time on my hands. I've been eating pretty well too. So hopefully it'll all come together!
Day 36 is 'Believe It'. And I do!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Day 35
148.6 this morning (and I was even feeling kind of dehydrated). Heavy sighs.
The good news is that I'm pretty much done the work I was doing at nights, so I'll be able to add some evening workouts back in. My triathlon is 6 weeks away so I NEED to get my ass in gear. It'll be great to exercise more, but really, it's my eating that is bringing me down.
Here's what I plan to do to fix it:
- NO NUTS. yes, they're a "health food", but way too calorie dense in the quantities that I eat them.
- ONE serving of fruit, per day, max. Whether it's free or not!
- TWO diet cokes per day, max. (I'll cut back to one, and hopefully zero at some point, but I'm drinking it like it's going out of style at work, and even though it doesn't have calories it still can't be good for me). I'll drink lots of tea and water instead.
- Otherwise, stick to all south beach diet foods. Basically I'll be eating loads of vegetables, eggs, and lean meat.
- I'm going to plan out realistic meal plans in the evening and pack my lunch for the next day, and then say NO CHOICE when there's food that isn't on my meal plan.
Day 35 is another 'Get Ready to Weigh In' day...I don't weigh in till Tuesday, so hopefully I can turn things around before then!
The good news is that I'm pretty much done the work I was doing at nights, so I'll be able to add some evening workouts back in. My triathlon is 6 weeks away so I NEED to get my ass in gear. It'll be great to exercise more, but really, it's my eating that is bringing me down.
Here's what I plan to do to fix it:
- NO NUTS. yes, they're a "health food", but way too calorie dense in the quantities that I eat them.
- ONE serving of fruit, per day, max. Whether it's free or not!
- TWO diet cokes per day, max. (I'll cut back to one, and hopefully zero at some point, but I'm drinking it like it's going out of style at work, and even though it doesn't have calories it still can't be good for me). I'll drink lots of tea and water instead.
- Otherwise, stick to all south beach diet foods. Basically I'll be eating loads of vegetables, eggs, and lean meat.
- I'm going to plan out realistic meal plans in the evening and pack my lunch for the next day, and then say NO CHOICE when there's food that isn't on my meal plan.
Day 35 is another 'Get Ready to Weigh In' day...I don't weigh in till Tuesday, so hopefully I can turn things around before then!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Day 34
A much better day today. I did eat 2 hotdogs at the bbq, but I took the bun off, and I didn't eat any of the other stuff there. And when I stopped off at the grocery store on my way home from work I was really hungry...and I was tempted to buy some granola bars or cheese strings, but I knew that, being hungry, I would definitely eat way too many of them. So I bought 100g of turkey breast from the deli, and ate that in the car to tide me over.
Then, after I ate dinner, I still felt like eating stuff, but I had a big glass of water and went for a walk, and now it has passed. I told myself that the kitchen is closed for the day, and that is that.
I am allllmost done the work stuff I'm doing, so I'm hoping to finally get to bed early tonight. I haven't been getting nearly enough sleep this week!
Day 34 is Solve Problems. When I have negative thoughts, I'm supposed to go through the 7 steps and figure out what to do. I'll give it a shot!
Then, after I ate dinner, I still felt like eating stuff, but I had a big glass of water and went for a walk, and now it has passed. I told myself that the kitchen is closed for the day, and that is that.
I am allllmost done the work stuff I'm doing, so I'm hoping to finally get to bed early tonight. I haven't been getting nearly enough sleep this week!
Day 34 is Solve Problems. When I have negative thoughts, I'm supposed to go through the 7 steps and figure out what to do. I'll give it a shot!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Siiiigh.
Man, losing weight is SO HARD. I was feeling so good about myself the other day (after weighing in in the 145s), but now I am feeling fat and blah again today.
At work today there was free cake, ice cream, and fruit and veggie platter. I did NOT eat the cake or ice cream. (yay!) I did, however, eat an absurd amount of fruit. why? Because fruit is healthy, and it was FREE. (Fresh pineapple ain't cheap!) But then I felt all bloated and gross all afternoon. (And the South Beach Diet allows you to have a piece or two of fruit a day...not 4 bowls full). So when I got home I was all depressed about it, and felt like eating stuff. I don't have any "bad" food in the house (thank god!) but I did eat WAY too many nuts...like several big handfuls, which is a million calories, and also some unsweetened peanut butter off the spoon.
WHY? WHY?! Raw unsalted nuts don't even taste that good. It's so stupid.
Anyway, the good news is that I stopped myself mid-spoonful of peanut butter, and said enough is enough, and then I chewed some gum and drank some water and rode my bike for 20 mins. The bad news is that I am still overeating all the time. On better food, but still...I won't lose any weight this way.
Okay, if Judith was here, I think she would tell me to give myself credit first:
- I didn't end up all-out binging at dairy queen or something. I overate, but I DID stop myself, eventually.
- I have been doing really well at not eating junk food!
And then Judith would ask what I could do next time:
- When I feel like eating, but I'm not really hungry, DON'T EAT. Get my freaking response cards out! Go for a walk! Read a book! Meditate! (I have never actually meditated in my life, but perhaps I should start!)
I know I can do this...I HAVE to do this! C'mon Lizzy!
Anyway, tomorrow is also a work bbq. I WILL NOT allow myself to end up eating junky hotdogs and chips and crap like that...I like healthier stuff better than that anyway. So I will eat a sensible lunch of my own, and then tell myself "NO CHOICE!" at everything else. (The 'no choice' thing is actually working out pretty well for me...)
I also have some dinner outings coming up this weekend, so I'll post my Plan of Attack for those tomorrow.
Day 33 in the beck book is Eliminate Emotional Eating. Well, I think we just covered that!
At work today there was free cake, ice cream, and fruit and veggie platter. I did NOT eat the cake or ice cream. (yay!) I did, however, eat an absurd amount of fruit. why? Because fruit is healthy, and it was FREE. (Fresh pineapple ain't cheap!) But then I felt all bloated and gross all afternoon. (And the South Beach Diet allows you to have a piece or two of fruit a day...not 4 bowls full). So when I got home I was all depressed about it, and felt like eating stuff. I don't have any "bad" food in the house (thank god!) but I did eat WAY too many nuts...like several big handfuls, which is a million calories, and also some unsweetened peanut butter off the spoon.
WHY? WHY?! Raw unsalted nuts don't even taste that good. It's so stupid.
Anyway, the good news is that I stopped myself mid-spoonful of peanut butter, and said enough is enough, and then I chewed some gum and drank some water and rode my bike for 20 mins. The bad news is that I am still overeating all the time. On better food, but still...I won't lose any weight this way.
Okay, if Judith was here, I think she would tell me to give myself credit first:
- I didn't end up all-out binging at dairy queen or something. I overate, but I DID stop myself, eventually.
- I have been doing really well at not eating junk food!
And then Judith would ask what I could do next time:
- When I feel like eating, but I'm not really hungry, DON'T EAT. Get my freaking response cards out! Go for a walk! Read a book! Meditate! (I have never actually meditated in my life, but perhaps I should start!)
I know I can do this...I HAVE to do this! C'mon Lizzy!
Anyway, tomorrow is also a work bbq. I WILL NOT allow myself to end up eating junky hotdogs and chips and crap like that...I like healthier stuff better than that anyway. So I will eat a sensible lunch of my own, and then tell myself "NO CHOICE!" at everything else. (The 'no choice' thing is actually working out pretty well for me...)
I also have some dinner outings coming up this weekend, so I'll post my Plan of Attack for those tomorrow.
Day 33 in the beck book is Eliminate Emotional Eating. Well, I think we just covered that!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Day 32
147.0 for the official weigh in...but, I was 145.8 yesterday! aaargh!
I am soooo busy these days with my two jobs, so I'm not working out nearly as much as I would like. But that should hopefully be wrapped up by the end of next week.
For food, I'm doing okay...still eating a lot, but all healthy stuff. I haven't binged on junky food in ages. I'm sure if I can keep this up, the weight will sloooowly come off.
Day 32 in the Beck Book is Prepare to Travel. I am AWFUL at eating while travelling. (I'll have to re-read this chapter before my next trip).
Okay, back to work!
I am soooo busy these days with my two jobs, so I'm not working out nearly as much as I would like. But that should hopefully be wrapped up by the end of next week.
For food, I'm doing okay...still eating a lot, but all healthy stuff. I haven't binged on junky food in ages. I'm sure if I can keep this up, the weight will sloooowly come off.
Day 32 in the Beck Book is Prepare to Travel. I am AWFUL at eating while travelling. (I'll have to re-read this chapter before my next trip).
Okay, back to work!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Day 31
147.2 this morning...I'm hoping to be in the 146s by tuesday's "official" weigh-in!
I am doing really well with food this weekend...honestly, I haven't even been tempted to eat bad stuff. Now let's just hope I can keep this up in more difficult situations!
Day 31 is Decide About Drinking...again, good timing! I hardly ever drank before moving here, but it seems my friends here drink a whole lot more! The book says to decide how much you'll drink beforehand, so I'll do that the next time I have plans for going out.
In other news, I plan on going swimming tomorrow (if I get all this work done!). I need to get a lot of practice in before my triathlon!
I am doing really well with food this weekend...honestly, I haven't even been tempted to eat bad stuff. Now let's just hope I can keep this up in more difficult situations!
Day 31 is Decide About Drinking...again, good timing! I hardly ever drank before moving here, but it seems my friends here drink a whole lot more! The book says to decide how much you'll drink beforehand, so I'll do that the next time I have plans for going out.
In other news, I plan on going swimming tomorrow (if I get all this work done!). I need to get a lot of practice in before my triathlon!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Day 30
Whoops, missed a day there!
So, I finished my first week of work...it has been super busy because I'm still doing some contract stuff for my old company, so it's like I have two jobs :( But, I really like being back in a routine...it has been good for my eating. Also, I signed up for a triathlon (just a mini one) on Sept 6th, so I'll need to do a whole/lot of swim/bike/running before then!
I haven't weighed in for a few days, mostly because I'm scared. I have no exciting plans for this weekend (just working, ugh) so I'll be eating super healthy and working out. Hopefully by Tuesday's weigh-in I'll be back at 147, or maybe 146!
I'm really enjoying my food scale. I've been measuring everything these days, and seeing how close I am to what I usually estimate...in general, it's less than I thought! I made a kale salad today though, and I measured the olive oil, and YIKES...120 calories in a tablespoon! I use 1.5, which means what I thought was a super healthy salad has almost 200 calories in oil! It's still a super healthy salad, of course...it's kale, for heaven's sake, but I'm going to try increasing the lemon juice and decreasing the oil and seeing if it still tastes good.
Anyway, back to the beck book...day 30 is coming at a good time because it is 'Stay in control while eating out'. Again, lots of helpful advice. I think the main thing for me to remember is, that even though I looooove eating (especially at restaurants), it is more important to be to be fit! The old line "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" is 100% accurate...I just need to keep reminding myself that!
Finally, here are few things I can give myself credit for, just because it's been a while:
- at work the other day I had a baggie of cashews (I had originally planned on putting them in a salad the day before, but didn't). I saw them the next morning, and I KNEW that even though cashews weren't what I planned to eat that day, if they were sitting in my desk when hunger struck in the afternoon I would eat them for sure. So I threw them out. Problem solved!
- I politely declined free samples on several occasions this week!
- I still have no junk food in the house, and it so helpful. If it's not there, I can't eat it!
okay, back to work!
So, I finished my first week of work...it has been super busy because I'm still doing some contract stuff for my old company, so it's like I have two jobs :( But, I really like being back in a routine...it has been good for my eating. Also, I signed up for a triathlon (just a mini one) on Sept 6th, so I'll need to do a whole/lot of swim/bike/running before then!
I haven't weighed in for a few days, mostly because I'm scared. I have no exciting plans for this weekend (just working, ugh) so I'll be eating super healthy and working out. Hopefully by Tuesday's weigh-in I'll be back at 147, or maybe 146!
I'm really enjoying my food scale. I've been measuring everything these days, and seeing how close I am to what I usually estimate...in general, it's less than I thought! I made a kale salad today though, and I measured the olive oil, and YIKES...120 calories in a tablespoon! I use 1.5, which means what I thought was a super healthy salad has almost 200 calories in oil! It's still a super healthy salad, of course...it's kale, for heaven's sake, but I'm going to try increasing the lemon juice and decreasing the oil and seeing if it still tastes good.
Anyway, back to the beck book...day 30 is coming at a good time because it is 'Stay in control while eating out'. Again, lots of helpful advice. I think the main thing for me to remember is, that even though I looooove eating (especially at restaurants), it is more important to be to be fit! The old line "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" is 100% accurate...I just need to keep reminding myself that!
Finally, here are few things I can give myself credit for, just because it's been a while:
- at work the other day I had a baggie of cashews (I had originally planned on putting them in a salad the day before, but didn't). I saw them the next morning, and I KNEW that even though cashews weren't what I planned to eat that day, if they were sitting in my desk when hunger struck in the afternoon I would eat them for sure. So I threw them out. Problem solved!
- I politely declined free samples on several occasions this week!
- I still have no junk food in the house, and it so helpful. If it's not there, I can't eat it!
okay, back to work!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Night Out...
147.0 this morning, which is the lowest in a while!
Tonight I went out for dinner/drinks with friends. I drank wine, which seems healthier than sugary mixed drinks, and ate a fantastic but small-portioned dinner, and then we all split 2 desserts. While it was definitely more calories than I would have eaten otherwise, I had a great night, and I just had small tastes of everything, so I don't feel totally gross. Also, I feel much better about it mentally, because I allowed myself to enjoy a good evening, rather than when I binge on cookies/cake/whatever alone by myself...that is just sad. Anyway, I'll try to cut back on the calories tomorrow and this weekend, but I had a really fun evening and I don't feel bad about it at all.
Tomorrow is day 29, resist food pushers. I definitely know a few of those. I'm really trying hard to establish a new healthy identity in my new city though...Lizzy the healthy eater!
Tonight I went out for dinner/drinks with friends. I drank wine, which seems healthier than sugary mixed drinks, and ate a fantastic but small-portioned dinner, and then we all split 2 desserts. While it was definitely more calories than I would have eaten otherwise, I had a great night, and I just had small tastes of everything, so I don't feel totally gross. Also, I feel much better about it mentally, because I allowed myself to enjoy a good evening, rather than when I binge on cookies/cake/whatever alone by myself...that is just sad. Anyway, I'll try to cut back on the calories tomorrow and this weekend, but I had a really fun evening and I don't feel bad about it at all.
Tomorrow is day 29, resist food pushers. I definitely know a few of those. I'm really trying hard to establish a new healthy identity in my new city though...Lizzy the healthy eater!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Day 28
A few obstacles today...first of all, I was eating lunch with my new boss today (he was on vacation my first 2 days). I didn't want to eat the lunch I brought, since it was gonna be a massive bowl of coleslaw and some leftover pork tenderloin that I planned on eating right out of the tinfoil. (Seems a bit unprofessional, no?) So instead I bought a soup and salad from the cafeteria...still a healthy choice, just a few more carbs than I would have eaten otherwise.
Then, apparently every wednesday they have a little social hour (well, social 15 mins) with free food. I would have just skipped it, except that I'm new, and I want to be sociable! They had ice cream and waffle cones and fresh fruit. I got a single scoop of ice cream in a bowl. And then later in the afternoon I went back and got a bowl of fruit...but then I realized, I already ate too many carbs/sugar today, and I really don't need this fruit. I am only eating it because it is free and it is there. So I stopped eating and threw the rest out.
So anyway, it wasn't a perfect day, but I still feel like I'm doing well. Usually I would make some kind of excuses about things "not counting" because they're free, or it's my first week of work or whatever. Unfortunately I am way too busy to do the workout I planned to do tonight. But oh well. It's a process.
Day 28 is Get Ready To Weigh In. I already did my weekly weigh-in on tuesday, but the info still applies for every day. My last weigh-in wasn't good, but I think I'm doing a good job of staying problem-solving oriented. We'll see what the scale holds tomorrow!
Then, apparently every wednesday they have a little social hour (well, social 15 mins) with free food. I would have just skipped it, except that I'm new, and I want to be sociable! They had ice cream and waffle cones and fresh fruit. I got a single scoop of ice cream in a bowl. And then later in the afternoon I went back and got a bowl of fruit...but then I realized, I already ate too many carbs/sugar today, and I really don't need this fruit. I am only eating it because it is free and it is there. So I stopped eating and threw the rest out.
So anyway, it wasn't a perfect day, but I still feel like I'm doing well. Usually I would make some kind of excuses about things "not counting" because they're free, or it's my first week of work or whatever. Unfortunately I am way too busy to do the workout I planned to do tonight. But oh well. It's a process.
Day 28 is Get Ready To Weigh In. I already did my weekly weigh-in on tuesday, but the info still applies for every day. My last weigh-in wasn't good, but I think I'm doing a good job of staying problem-solving oriented. We'll see what the scale holds tomorrow!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Day 27
Another good eating day, on account of the fact that I was too busy, and didn't have any food! (I brought a can of soup for the afternoon, but my work does not seem to have a can opener. Or bowl. hmmm...)
Today was my weigh-in day, and I was 148.6, which is up .6 from last week. But, oh well. I need to step up my exercise, but otherwise I think I'm moving in the right direction.
I didn't really have any sabotaging thoughts today...although, I did eat my sugar snap peas and nuts way early (they were supposed to be a 3pm snack, but I ate them with lunch)...because...they were there. I guess I was thinking "What difference does it make when I eat them? I'll just eat them now, and then I won't be hungry later."...obviously that is NOT true. Tomorrow I will leave afternoon snacks in the fridge to avoid temptation, and when I'm tempted I will tell myself "WAIT until you are hungry! You don't need these now!".
Tomorrow is Day 27, which is 'Master the 7 Question Technique'. I'm writing the questions down on a card, and sticking it in my purse, so I can pull it out at work if need be.
Today was my weigh-in day, and I was 148.6, which is up .6 from last week. But, oh well. I need to step up my exercise, but otherwise I think I'm moving in the right direction.
I didn't really have any sabotaging thoughts today...although, I did eat my sugar snap peas and nuts way early (they were supposed to be a 3pm snack, but I ate them with lunch)...because...they were there. I guess I was thinking "What difference does it make when I eat them? I'll just eat them now, and then I won't be hungry later."...obviously that is NOT true. Tomorrow I will leave afternoon snacks in the fridge to avoid temptation, and when I'm tempted I will tell myself "WAIT until you are hungry! You don't need these now!".
Tomorrow is Day 27, which is 'Master the 7 Question Technique'. I'm writing the questions down on a card, and sticking it in my purse, so I can pull it out at work if need be.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Day 26
Oh man, I am BUSY...gotta make this quick!
Today was the first day of work...it went okay...just regular first-day stuff, meeting people, getting the computer set up, reading documents... Eating-wise I did fantastic, because I was too busy to snack! (But, I'll have to bring some snacks tomorrow, because I was STARVING.)
Here's my plan for tomorrow:
- red pepper pre-gym
- egg muffin thingies for breakfast (crustless quiche that I'm cooking in muffin tins as we speak)
- cauliflower & pork tenderloin for lunch
- sugar snap peas and nuts for snack
- can of Amy's soup in case I'm still hungry
- taco salad for dinner
- handful of blueberries for dessert
Day 26 is 'Recognize Thinking Mistakes'. If I have time for any, I'll report back! (No sabotaging thoughts for today, I don't think. I may have briefly considered a "I deserve the baked doritos from the cafeteria, since it's my first day", but I opted for soup & salad bar instead. go me!
Today was the first day of work...it went okay...just regular first-day stuff, meeting people, getting the computer set up, reading documents... Eating-wise I did fantastic, because I was too busy to snack! (But, I'll have to bring some snacks tomorrow, because I was STARVING.)
Here's my plan for tomorrow:
- red pepper pre-gym
- egg muffin thingies for breakfast (crustless quiche that I'm cooking in muffin tins as we speak)
- cauliflower & pork tenderloin for lunch
- sugar snap peas and nuts for snack
- can of Amy's soup in case I'm still hungry
- taco salad for dinner
- handful of blueberries for dessert
Day 26 is 'Recognize Thinking Mistakes'. If I have time for any, I'll report back! (No sabotaging thoughts for today, I don't think. I may have briefly considered a "I deserve the baked doritos from the cafeteria, since it's my first day", but I opted for soup & salad bar instead. go me!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
And I'm Back!
The weekend was fun, but I overate, AGAIN :( Not an all-out binge, and I didn't eat any junk food, so I guess I can give myself credit for that, but I am not exercising nearly enough to have the "buffer calories" I used to. Sigh.
I really, REALLY need to lose this weight though. I wore pants and long sleeves this whole weekend, even though it was super hot, because I hate the way my arms and legs look right now. And I just feel crappy. This is ridiculous. I need to get on with my life!
Tomorrow is my first day of work, and I'm looking forward to using the gym there, and getting into a good routine. Tomorrow night, after I've seen what the fridge/kitchen/cafeteria situation is like, I'm going to map out my food plan. I think I'll go with 1800 calories/day, because 1500 is too tough for me.
So yeah, I'm feeling frustrated. But I feel like the light is at the end of the tunnel...
Tomorrow is also Day 25 of the Beck book, which is "Identify Sabotaging Thoughts". I'll report back on that tomorrow!
I really, REALLY need to lose this weight though. I wore pants and long sleeves this whole weekend, even though it was super hot, because I hate the way my arms and legs look right now. And I just feel crappy. This is ridiculous. I need to get on with my life!
Tomorrow is my first day of work, and I'm looking forward to using the gym there, and getting into a good routine. Tomorrow night, after I've seen what the fridge/kitchen/cafeteria situation is like, I'm going to map out my food plan. I think I'll go with 1800 calories/day, because 1500 is too tough for me.
So yeah, I'm feeling frustrated. But I feel like the light is at the end of the tunnel...
Tomorrow is also Day 25 of the Beck book, which is "Identify Sabotaging Thoughts". I'll report back on that tomorrow!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Day 24
148.4 this morning...a bit better, anyway. Today I did pretty well with eating, although I ate the last of the flank steak, and a bunch of rotisserie chicken, and I don't really have a good feel for how many calories are in those. But other than that, I ate a TON of vegetables, all low-carb. (Also, I made chicken stock out of the chicken bones for the first time ever! I think it will be good...my apartment smells amazing!)
I'm going away for the weekend, and I've already informed everyone that I'm on a diet, and I'm going to bring a ton of healthy food...so hopefully I will be able to stay on track! I BETTER stay on track, because if the scale hasn't moved by tuesday's weigh in I will be pissed! (I might not be blogging this weekend, but I'll be back monday.) Anyway, this weekend will be a good time to practice all the stuff I've been working on...dealing with temptations, saying "oh well", stop fooling myself...
Day 24 is Deal with Discouragement. hoo, boy. Again, she makes some good points...it's not like I'm suffering or anything on this diet. I'm just eating healthy stuff. It is not that bad. Suck it up, Liz!
I'm going away for the weekend, and I've already informed everyone that I'm on a diet, and I'm going to bring a ton of healthy food...so hopefully I will be able to stay on track! I BETTER stay on track, because if the scale hasn't moved by tuesday's weigh in I will be pissed! (I might not be blogging this weekend, but I'll be back monday.) Anyway, this weekend will be a good time to practice all the stuff I've been working on...dealing with temptations, saying "oh well", stop fooling myself...
Day 24 is Deal with Discouragement. hoo, boy. Again, she makes some good points...it's not like I'm suffering or anything on this diet. I'm just eating healthy stuff. It is not that bad. Suck it up, Liz!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Day 23
The scale said 150.2 today. Believe me, I was NOT happy.
So, I spent some time today doing some research on my diet, and logging all of today's food in fitday.com so that I could get a good look at where I was going astray, since my current plan is clearly not working. Here's a quick summary of my findings.
- I should try to keep my carb count under 100. Today I ate around 120. Everything I ate was low-carb-ish, but I did eat one pear. Only 1, which I thought was acceptable...but holy shit, ONE pear has 25g of carbs! 25% of my daily total! sheesh! (Unfortunately I bought a whole bag of pears because they were on sale for $1.99) Clearly $1.99 is not worth blowing my diet for, so I may just throw them out, or eat 1/2 at a time or something...because other than fruit, all my carb quantities were pretty reasonable.
- I need to get a better handle on portion sizes for high-calorie foods (feta cheese, olive oil, steak). I was totally guessing at quantities when I was putting stuff in fitday. I think once I get my food scale (I ordered it from amazon) that will help a lot. And even for vegetables it will be helpful, because they have things like "1 cup kale, chopped"...but depending on how much you chop it, that can be a lot or a little! I don't think I'm overdoing it on portion sizes, but who actually knows.
So, I'm going to start measuring stuff for a little while, and watching my fruit and carb intake. Hopefully these changes will help! At least I'm feeling more positive after doing this research...like I'm actually DOING something, instead of just crossing my fingers and getting on the scale.
On to the Beck book...tomorrow is Day 23, which is 'Counter the Unfairness Syndrome'. I don't think this one really applies to me, because honestly, I eat like a freaking cow. It is no mystery how I packed on the pounds (binge eating on chocolate and cookies and such for the past few months), and I should probably be glad that the damage wasn't worse. I think I'm pretty lucky in terms of metabolism, because I still eat more than most people.
Despite my lack of progress, I still feel like I'm doing well overall. It's a PROCESS overall, and I know if I just stick to it, keep reading my response cards, and continue working on my diet, the results will come!
So, I spent some time today doing some research on my diet, and logging all of today's food in fitday.com so that I could get a good look at where I was going astray, since my current plan is clearly not working. Here's a quick summary of my findings.
- I should try to keep my carb count under 100. Today I ate around 120. Everything I ate was low-carb-ish, but I did eat one pear. Only 1, which I thought was acceptable...but holy shit, ONE pear has 25g of carbs! 25% of my daily total! sheesh! (Unfortunately I bought a whole bag of pears because they were on sale for $1.99) Clearly $1.99 is not worth blowing my diet for, so I may just throw them out, or eat 1/2 at a time or something...because other than fruit, all my carb quantities were pretty reasonable.
- I need to get a better handle on portion sizes for high-calorie foods (feta cheese, olive oil, steak). I was totally guessing at quantities when I was putting stuff in fitday. I think once I get my food scale (I ordered it from amazon) that will help a lot. And even for vegetables it will be helpful, because they have things like "1 cup kale, chopped"...but depending on how much you chop it, that can be a lot or a little! I don't think I'm overdoing it on portion sizes, but who actually knows.
So, I'm going to start measuring stuff for a little while, and watching my fruit and carb intake. Hopefully these changes will help! At least I'm feeling more positive after doing this research...like I'm actually DOING something, instead of just crossing my fingers and getting on the scale.
On to the Beck book...tomorrow is Day 23, which is 'Counter the Unfairness Syndrome'. I don't think this one really applies to me, because honestly, I eat like a freaking cow. It is no mystery how I packed on the pounds (binge eating on chocolate and cookies and such for the past few months), and I should probably be glad that the damage wasn't worse. I think I'm pretty lucky in terms of metabolism, because I still eat more than most people.
Despite my lack of progress, I still feel like I'm doing well overall. It's a PROCESS overall, and I know if I just stick to it, keep reading my response cards, and continue working on my diet, the results will come!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Day 22
Today pretty much went downhill since the weigh-in, because I went to my most hated place on earth...THE MALL. Words cannot express how much I despise that place. But, I start work next week, and I need clothes. Anyway, I went to one store, had a pity party in the change room about how gross my arms are and how bloated my stomach looks, and then I left without buying anything and went home. So I think that mall trip could be classified as "unsuccessful".
Since then, I've had some time to think it over. I weigh 148 lbs...which is only 8 lbs away from 140, which I deem to be an acceptable weight. (I would much prefer to be in the 130s, but 140 is "okay".) That is NOT that far away. I just need to keep trucking away at this. And in the meantime, I will attempt the mall again tomorrow...siiigh.
Eating-wise, today was okay, I guess. I ordered a food scale from Amazon, because I've been doing a lot of guessing as to portion sizes when I add up my calories, and I usually err on the side of overestimating calories. It will be interesting to see how close I actually am. I ate some grapes today, but I just bought a tiny bag of them so that there was no chance I could overdo it. Also, I grilled up some flank steak and ate it with salad for lunch, and then the leftovers for dinner, because YUM. I haven't had red meat in a while, and damn, it's good. I'll have to look into some leaner cuts though, because flank steak is kinda fatty.
Tomorrow is Day 22, which is 'Say Oh Well to Disappointment". I will give it a try!
Since then, I've had some time to think it over. I weigh 148 lbs...which is only 8 lbs away from 140, which I deem to be an acceptable weight. (I would much prefer to be in the 130s, but 140 is "okay".) That is NOT that far away. I just need to keep trucking away at this. And in the meantime, I will attempt the mall again tomorrow...siiigh.
Eating-wise, today was okay, I guess. I ordered a food scale from Amazon, because I've been doing a lot of guessing as to portion sizes when I add up my calories, and I usually err on the side of overestimating calories. It will be interesting to see how close I actually am. I ate some grapes today, but I just bought a tiny bag of them so that there was no chance I could overdo it. Also, I grilled up some flank steak and ate it with salad for lunch, and then the leftovers for dinner, because YUM. I haven't had red meat in a while, and damn, it's good. I'll have to look into some leaner cuts though, because flank steak is kinda fatty.
Tomorrow is Day 22, which is 'Say Oh Well to Disappointment". I will give it a try!
Weigh-in Update
148.0 this morning, for a total loss of......1 pound. I hoped for more than that, but progress is progress. Onwards!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Day 21
So, tomorrow is Day 21, which is the first official weigh-in day. I'm a bit nervous. The scale said 147.6 this morning, but I ate a lot of stuff today. In the first 2 weeks of the South Beach Diet, you're not supposed to eat fruit, but since this is week 3 for me I bought some from the grocery store and ended up going a bit overboard (you're supposed to gradually add fruit back in, starting with one piece per day). Whoops.
Anyway, things are going along like normal...I'm making healthy choices, but still eating a LOT. But hopefully this will be enough to lose 1lb or so a week. I made a little chart in my notebook, so we'll see what the scale says tomorrow!
Anyway, things are going along like normal...I'm making healthy choices, but still eating a LOT. But hopefully this will be enough to lose 1lb or so a week. I made a little chart in my notebook, so we'll see what the scale says tomorrow!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Day 20
148.2 this morning...annoying, but my stomach is definitely looking flatter than a few weeks ago, so I know I'm making progress despite what the scale says. My "official" weigh-in day is Tuesday, so we'll see then!
Today I ate a whole lot of coleslaw salad with Trader Joe's Spicy Peanut Vinaigrette that I brought back from Washington last weekend. They don't have TJs in Canada, and I miss it soooo much. I end up smuggling half the store back with me :) Anyway, I love that stuff like you wouldn't believe, but the second ingredient is sugar, so even though I use only a bit and eat it with a whole pile of cabbage and broccoli slaw, it still isn't really the healthiest choice. I did some googling and found some recipes that look promising, so hopefully I will be able to come up with a healthier but still delicious version.
Back to the Beck Book...tomorrow is Day 20, which is Get Back On Track. Once again, Judith totally has my number on this one. Usually one slip-up for me turns into a big binge, and then all my efforts are wasted. I've been doing pretty well so far, but I wrote up a card that I'll refer to when I inevitably do get off track.
Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Today I ate a whole lot of coleslaw salad with Trader Joe's Spicy Peanut Vinaigrette that I brought back from Washington last weekend. They don't have TJs in Canada, and I miss it soooo much. I end up smuggling half the store back with me :) Anyway, I love that stuff like you wouldn't believe, but the second ingredient is sugar, so even though I use only a bit and eat it with a whole pile of cabbage and broccoli slaw, it still isn't really the healthiest choice. I did some googling and found some recipes that look promising, so hopefully I will be able to come up with a healthier but still delicious version.
Back to the Beck Book...tomorrow is Day 20, which is Get Back On Track. Once again, Judith totally has my number on this one. Usually one slip-up for me turns into a big binge, and then all my efforts are wasted. I've been doing pretty well so far, but I wrote up a card that I'll refer to when I inevitably do get off track.
Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Day 19
Today was a tough day. The scale said 147.6 today, which is down from yesterday, but still higher than last Saturday. I'm just kind of frustrated, because I feel like I've been doing really well, and if the scale isn't moving much now, how on earth am I going to do this in the coming weeks when I'm busy working, or when I'm going out with friends?! And also today, I was hungry, like, the entire day. And I ended up eating a lot, so I'm sure the scale will be even higher tomorrow.
BUT, thinking positively here...even though I was hungry today, I stuck to all SBD foods, and just had an additional giant salad and turkey burger. In the "old" days, I would get mad at myself for being hungry, and then mad at myself for eating more, and then mad at myself for getting fat in the first place, and then I would just eat everything in sight because I didn't care anymore because I was too MAD. Today I ate more than I planned, but I didn't get out of control, and I plan on doing a new workout DVD tonight to get some solid exercise in. Screw the scale, I am making good progress here, and I just need to be PATIENT.
To be honest, I kind of secretly hoped that if I stuck to the SBD, I'd lose 8-14 lbs in 2 weeks like they claim, and then if I just stick with it for a few more weeks I'd be in the 130s again, and THEN losing 1-2lbs a week would be fine. Obviously that was really dumb, and losing 8lbs in 2 weeks is an unrealistic goal, and if I DID lose 8lbs a lot of it would be water weight, and wouldn't last, etc. Moving forward, I just need to continue making healthy choices, and the results will come all in good time.
Whew, I feel a bit better now after all of that.
Day 19! Stop Fooling Yourself. I found this chapter kind of amusing, because I have thought EVERY SINGLE THING on the list of ways you fool yourself, at one time or another. And all of the Sabotaging Thoughts at the back too! One of the reasons I like this book a lot is because I really feel like Judith is 'on to me'. And if she's an expert, and she says doing these 42 steps will help me think like a thin person, then I WILL, dammit! :)
BUT, thinking positively here...even though I was hungry today, I stuck to all SBD foods, and just had an additional giant salad and turkey burger. In the "old" days, I would get mad at myself for being hungry, and then mad at myself for eating more, and then mad at myself for getting fat in the first place, and then I would just eat everything in sight because I didn't care anymore because I was too MAD. Today I ate more than I planned, but I didn't get out of control, and I plan on doing a new workout DVD tonight to get some solid exercise in. Screw the scale, I am making good progress here, and I just need to be PATIENT.
To be honest, I kind of secretly hoped that if I stuck to the SBD, I'd lose 8-14 lbs in 2 weeks like they claim, and then if I just stick with it for a few more weeks I'd be in the 130s again, and THEN losing 1-2lbs a week would be fine. Obviously that was really dumb, and losing 8lbs in 2 weeks is an unrealistic goal, and if I DID lose 8lbs a lot of it would be water weight, and wouldn't last, etc. Moving forward, I just need to continue making healthy choices, and the results will come all in good time.
Whew, I feel a bit better now after all of that.
Day 19! Stop Fooling Yourself. I found this chapter kind of amusing, because I have thought EVERY SINGLE THING on the list of ways you fool yourself, at one time or another. And all of the Sabotaging Thoughts at the back too! One of the reasons I like this book a lot is because I really feel like Judith is 'on to me'. And if she's an expert, and she says doing these 42 steps will help me think like a thin person, then I WILL, dammit! :)
Friday, July 2, 2010
Day 18
Hey hey...148.6 this morning, which is kind of annoying, but I am doing really well, and my stomach looks flatter, so oh well. Today's big victory was going shopping at Costco...there was sooooo much good stuff that I wanted to buy, and I didn't get any of it! (For example the jumbo size bags of trail mix, and larabars, and costco cookies, and...well, everything really!) I told myself "It's not like I can't have this EVER...I just shouldn't buy this right now, because I know it will sabotage my diet efforts, and I've been doing really well". Somehow that's easier to accept than just "NO, CAN'T HAVE IT!"
I really hope that the scale is down tomorrow...last saturday it was 147.2, and even though I overate last weekend, it would still be really discouraging if the scale hasn't budged.
Day 18 is 'Change Your Definition of Full'...after each meal I'm supposed to analyze how full I am. And stop eating before I get too full!
I really hope that the scale is down tomorrow...last saturday it was 147.2, and even though I overate last weekend, it would still be really discouraging if the scale hasn't budged.
Day 18 is 'Change Your Definition of Full'...after each meal I'm supposed to analyze how full I am. And stop eating before I get too full!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Day 17, Attempt #2
I totally forgot to do the leave-some-food-on-your-plate thing today. whoops. But, I am going to make a big fajita salad tomorrow, so I'll give myself a giant serving of that and save some for later.
I went to a big Canada Day bbq today, and I got a 'lean turkey smokey' dog...pure garbage to be sure, but probably a LOT less calories than the jumbo dog that I actually wanted. AND, I didn't eat the bun, even though it probably made me look like a weirdo. (Now that I think of it, getting something not on your diet plan and not eating it was part of Day 17...so I guess I did that part after all!) I was feeling kind of 'meh' about what I ate today (I also had some minestrone soup with pasta in it), but then I looked at my food diary and realized that in the grand scheme of things, I did pretty well after all!
Anyway, the thing that I am most proud of though is that when I got home I was in the mood to eat things...not particularly hungry, I just wanted to EAT. I snacked on some sugar snap peas and feta cheese, and then I still wanted more. Like maybe some wheat thins crackers, or popcorn, or chips... BUT, I told myself all the very cliche things from the Beck Book like "This is a craving, and it is great that I am identifying it as such, and strengthening my not-giving-in muscle by resisting it". And then I got out of the house and went for a walk. And now I'm back and I'm drinking a big mug of tea, and the craving has passed. VICTORY!
I went to a big Canada Day bbq today, and I got a 'lean turkey smokey' dog...pure garbage to be sure, but probably a LOT less calories than the jumbo dog that I actually wanted. AND, I didn't eat the bun, even though it probably made me look like a weirdo. (Now that I think of it, getting something not on your diet plan and not eating it was part of Day 17...so I guess I did that part after all!) I was feeling kind of 'meh' about what I ate today (I also had some minestrone soup with pasta in it), but then I looked at my food diary and realized that in the grand scheme of things, I did pretty well after all!
Anyway, the thing that I am most proud of though is that when I got home I was in the mood to eat things...not particularly hungry, I just wanted to EAT. I snacked on some sugar snap peas and feta cheese, and then I still wanted more. Like maybe some wheat thins crackers, or popcorn, or chips... BUT, I told myself all the very cliche things from the Beck Book like "This is a craving, and it is great that I am identifying it as such, and strengthening my not-giving-in muscle by resisting it". And then I got out of the house and went for a walk. And now I'm back and I'm drinking a big mug of tea, and the craving has passed. VICTORY!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)